Everyone must have jealous feeling when she realizes that her couple pays attention to someone else. It’s a lie if you don’t feel worried when you see your mate’s friend is more attractive than you.
Jealousy might be a sign of love but it can ruin your relationship if you can’t control it. So, why do we become jealous easily? Knowing the reason why we become jealous so easily could help us to control and manage our jealousy. Here are two main reasons why we become jealous easily:
1. You feel that you must know everything about him
Based on clinic psychologist in Australia, Dr. Lissa Johnson, you might tell your couple that you only want to know his past. But, actually you ask this to get the certainty about his love to you.
“If there are still many things that are not talked openly to you, it symbolizes that he or she still compares you with his or her ex date and he or she tries to find your weakness,” said Johnson. So, finding information about his ex date or asking about his past relationship is the effort to get certainty if you are special enough for him.
Though satisfying your curiosity can decrease the jealous feeling for the short time, Johnson said that it can trigger chaos for the long period. You feel that you are threatened and try to do something to calm down yourself. For example is you think that “I believe he doesn’t love me like he loved his ex girlfriend so I must investigate it.” By thinking this threat still exists, the fear feeling becomes stronger, and your desire to find certainty is also getting stronger.
This behavior can be prediction that you make by yourself. “It might be that your couple actually adores you but he or she feels tired with your pressure about getting certainty,” said Johnson. “As time goes by, he or she will keep distance emotionally and finally he or she will avoid you physically.”
It is natural if you want to get the best thing from your couple. Johnson said, it is seldom that human doesn’t have any doubt or feels uncomfortable about her desire. But, it is better to find out what he wants than wasting your energy by finding out about his past relationship. What you can do is making your relationship long lasting. So focus on those things.
2. You can’t accept when he admires someone else
For example when he comments how sexy the legs that models have than he compares to your hairy legs. Or when he talks with a woman for longer time and you have feeling that your boyfriend has certain intention to that woman. Why can you give that strong reaction when you are in that situation?
“Jealousy can be the reaction of the desire and the expectation that are not admitted by people who are jealous”, explained Dr. Matthew Bambling, a clinic psychologist and senior lecturer in Australian Catholic University.
The people who are jealous often don’t want to admit that they are also attracted to someone else or fight with the limitation of long period relationship. They don’t admit it and the worst thing is they accuse their couple for doing things that actually they never do. This way becomes the great way to vanish the wrong thought or feeling but it can destruct your relationship.
So when you are mature, you should capable in controlling your desire to confront your couple for what he or she has done.