Mistakes Frequently Done by Single Women
Usually on weekends, single women will shy away from the family gatherings. It is not because that she is not missed by relatives, but it is rather to avoid the question, “When are you going to get married? For how long you will remain single?” Those are disturbing questions that are difficult to avoid.
Most of us would agree that marriage is not just meeting the expectations of both parents and extended family, but it is the need of sharing our lives with our loved ones. Therefore we cannot choose carelessly. This is also what makes Lori Gottlieb, author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, believe that we are surrounded by men who are fit for marriage.
“However, we often do not give them a chance. Until unwittingly were so many men who fit our desires passing away,” she said enthusiastically. From her observations, mostly, single women are fixated on the standard most people have so that they forget the needs of her own in figuring life partner as desired. “This is what makes us seem always to meet the wrong man.”
Let’s see this misperceptions regarding to Mr. Right so that we won’t make them go away again.
- Always think that there are always someone else better. According to Gottlieb, this is the perception that makes us never believe that our choice is indeed the best. As a result, we keep on looking, searching, and searching. Gottlieb suggests, when we realize that the man who is with us is a man who makes us uncomfortable, who understand and love us, it feels no need to search again.
- Being too judgmental. For the purposes of his book, Gottlieb also interviewed men. And many men who said women are too judgmental of men on the appearance. They even have not tried to identify the man more closely. “Women can give 300 reasons on why they don’t go out with a certain guy, while men only give three reasons alone.” For men, Gottlieb continued, when they’re ready to enter the serious stage, they would believe that the woman who is able to give an aura of comfort is the right woman as a partner.
- We believe the ideal partner is similar in many respects. Gottlieb gave out an example; one respondent who is a writer required man to whom she should date must love to read. It is because according to respondents, by reading a person must have a high level of creativity. “We forget that people can be creative in many ways. Remember that men are also individuals who have their own uniqueness, they are not a one-stop shopping that provides everything we want.” Even according to Gottlieb, when we can still provide the freedom for partner to do what he likes and find the same enthusiasm when he talks about it, then that’s the definition of a full share. “As long as we can share our lives together without becoming strangers to each other, it means we have been enjoying life with the right people.”
At the conclusion, Gottlieb warned, the choice to share life with others is the choice to have a “friend” for life. Therefore, do not yourself be duped by others’ standard of Mr. Right. Identify your own Mr. Right and understand what that become our needs upon the presence of a companion. From there we will be more open to accept the existence of others and choose which one is best for us. And remember; do not make the process of choosing a partner as a long journey of suffocating. Make this a fun stage in finding a soul mate.
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